To the 5 Juniors in this class about to take the ACT

Sometimes I take personality tests for fun just to see how close they actually get to describing me

I remember in 7th grade when we took the color code test in CTE for the first time and I was mad because I got white

I wanted to get blue because it's my favorite color and all of my friends got blue 

but white probably fit me better and who cares what test results your friends get
we shouldn't care

I think sometimes we compare our test results with other people as if our test results define who we are

and a test might be able to tell you how many questions you get right and how many questions you get wrong

but a test won't tell you why Viva La Vida still reminds you of that rusty blue Honda

It won't talk about the 2nd grade and the time you slipped through a doggy door into a vacant house with your friends (there were rumors about a ghost, but all you found was an empty guitar hero box)

you almost died a week before your 11th birthday and a test won't know who saved you
but you will never forget

you still hate milkweed and you used to be afraid of wind and water, and most of your friends can't explain that one so how could a test?

It won't tell you why you love Roxberry or the Maze Runner or why you've always wanted to go to Europe

your results might reflect the time you took to study or how lucky you are at guessing

but you are not your test results
please don't forget that

I found crayons at school and I'm never giving them back

I wish I could blame school for taking my crayons from me,

but I can't

I threw away the 24 pack when I looked over and saw the drawing the kid next to me had created - They were like a mini Picasso 

I thought it wasn't fair

(because when you’re young you haven’t figured out that part about life yet)

And their parents were probably artists

so they must have been born with a talent for coloring outside the lines 

While I, I had to teach myself, and I figured out that life isn’t fair

My drawings would never measure up to theirs

So I traded creativity for games and joined my friends on the playground 

because on the playground you just have to make it to the swings before the 6^th graders and when

the 6^th graders steal the swings you just have to run so you don’t become the lava monster and if you get tagged as the lava monster then you make yourself king and play four square

I couldn’t blame school for taking my crayons when I was the one that traded them in,

  

In 7^th grade I could’ve blamed school for trying to force me into taking a music class

But I can’t because thankfully my mom got me out of it

(If you like those kinds of classes that’s awesome too, I just have no musical talents haha)

(I know jingle bells on the piano and smoke on the water on the guitar, that’s all you need right?)

But I will always be grateful that I replaced band and choir for Art Foundations and Art 3D

Because instead of crayons or high notes they gave me paint brushes, colored pencils, pens, markers, clay, and we even made art out out of newspapers coated with watered down glue

The teacher soaked her feet in a bucket but she made up for it by asking me to join the V.I.P. art class in 9^th grade and now my brothers in her class and she still remembers me and thank goodness for teachers who teach creativity and for the bucket I can still crack jokes about

I blame school for making me fall in love with art again,

I think we focus too much on the Act, and the AP Tests and ugh I have to go to Attendance school

But we forget about the doodles we draw in the margins of our notebooks

And we don’t remember what shepards room used to look like and we keep forgetting about the knight in the commons and where it came from

And we’re getting English credit by talking about creativity and coloring with crayons

I think the right brain is nothing without the left brain

And I think you can find crayons anywhere, even at school

You just have to try and find them

and once you do

 don't ever give them back 

Reality

Reality, 

sometimes it hits you hard, scrapes your knees, bruises your elbows, 

and will give you nothing more than high pitched ringing

and a mind that's suddenly become hollow 

other times it leaves you on the ground, out of breath,

 reminding you that you have to get back up and start all over again

and sometimes it comes when you least expect it, slowly, filtering it's way into your oxygen & H2O,

bringing with it a headache and turning your feet into cement

We don't like reality

some of us like to forget about it by binge watching someone elses

sometimes we hide from it behind closed doors 

and phrases that follow "how are you?"

and other times we use sheet covers and daydreams to make an escape

But I'm not here to talk about what it feels like

all of you already know that

I'm here to remind you that realities change

you can change it

     

If you don't like lemonade then throw away the lemons life handed you
 go grab some oranges and make orange juice instead


We will never have control over what happens to us
but we are in control of how we take it

so take reality and make it become the reality you want for yourself
accomplish that goal you've been working on
do something that makes you happy
find a new hobby
meet someone new
get rid of whatever causes you stress or makes you sad

it's your life
make it be the way you want it to be

Maybe, Just Maybe

I'm scrambling back and forth between the 3 choices every snooze button hitter, just 5 more minutes mumbler, and every sleep deprived teenager has to make every morning-

be on time, take a shower, or try to pull off a miracle by doing both.

It's May 27, 2016 10:06 AM and I'm in the car with friends who know me better than I do

and they just convinced me to sing along to High School Musical, so now we're yelling

"we're all in this together"and I'm pretty sure the neighbors can hear us coming down the street we learned to ride bikes on.

But today's our last day to live up to the obnoxious high schooler reputation and we don't care who hears us.

If you ask them they could tell you the blue baseball cap on my head says I chose time over coconut body wash and the miracle I've been trying to pull off every morning, all year long.

but really I chose them and this crowded IHOP table and the omelette that's supposed to come any minute now.

And I just chose 23, what are the odds?  So now I have to down 3 packets of salt, but I'm lucky because she just chose 4, and now we're all laughing at the fact that she has to get the waiters number.
I don't know what I'd  I'll do without friends like them.

It's 4:37 PM and I'm in the UCCU center surrounded by people who've been craving this day for years and parents who don't want to believe it's finally here.

I've been sitting here for almost an hour and after hearing so many unfamiliar names I finally understand why people are so surprised, I feel like I didn't meet half of these people 

It's almost 7:00 PM and even though I'm 18 I'm sitting in the backseat of the car because my brother knows I still respect the rules of shotgun

That's it, I've done it

I've made it through high school

and now I'm holding my graduation cap and I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe 

a part of me might actually miss high school

You Yourself and I

all their arrows are pointing in 

their eyes can't see beyond the end of their own nose

they have a love for the letter "I" but never a second thought for the letter "U"

they forget that the world revolves around the sun

they'll tell you that "self" always comes before "ish"

and should never be followed by "less"

and I before Everyone else, except after they Cee that conceited spends Friday nights alone 

I watched a friend walk down the halls creating her own storms 

and she came complaining when it started to rain

and I'm sorry but you should know that a life that's all about you

well, that's all you'll end up with

yourself

Real Intros

It's true that
                      "You never get a second chance to make a first impression"

But this class makes it possible to
                                                       "have a second chance to meet someone again for the first time"



The first day of class I turned around and introduced myself to the guy sitting behind me,
we just said hi and exchanged names
which is ironic because that's probably the last thing I'll find out about him

But I think this way is better-  having pen names


There's no labels, no stereotypes, you can just be yourself, and others can't define you


So ya, maybe I've already met most of you

But now we all get the chance to meet again for the first time
And this time names won't be the only thing we know about each other

This time we'll be having real introductions with real thoughts

and I
can't
wait